I’ve been hearing a lot about fried turkey over the last few years. Mostly what I had been hearing was, “ZOMG you’ll burn your house down! Don’t do it!!” Naturally I was intrigued when I saw the turkey fryer kits at the local hardware store. I decided to throw caution to the wind and fry us up a turkey for Thanksgiving. I mean, how dangerous can it be, really? People down on the bayou have been doing this for a long time, and they don’t burn their houses down. Clearly I had fallen prey to the fear mongering in the nightly news. Yes, my manhood was being challenged.

I acquired the fry kit, and set about researching what would be needed to safely bring this bird home to roost. I watched a number of how-to videos using strongly-worded, dire warning about the dangers of accidental injury, property damage and even death. A wet or frozen bird would not be suffered. A common theme among all the videos was that this was not to be approached lightly, and would, in fact, require infrastructure. At minimum, it would require a fire extinguisher and safety gear in the form of aprons and heavy gloves. Construction of a gantry incorporating a system of rigging would not be uncalled for. Clearly, this project was taking on the overtones of a moral imperative. I set about acquiring my materials and got to work. My turkey gantry takes shape.

The recipe, then:

• 1 turkey, 14lb, thawed and rinsed
• Add to a large vessel: 2 gallons cold water, 1 cup packed brown sugar, 1/4 cup kosher salt and 1 cup of maple syrup. Stir to dissolve the ingredients.
• Immerse bird in the brine solution, and cover with ice. Top off with more cold water to cover the bird. Set aside for 8 to 18 hours.

For the fry:

• 5 gallons canola oil heated to 325-350 dF. Be sure not to overheat the oil.
• Dry the turkey inside and out
• Rub down with salt and pepper
• Lower the bird SLOWLY into the deep fryer
• Fry at 325-350 dF for approximately 45 minutes, or 3 minutes per pound.
• Remove bird when a thermometer reads 150 dF from the breast and thigh.
• Place bird in paper bag, and place paper bag in plastic shopping bag to absorb extra oil.
• Allow 30 minutes for carry-over to head the bird to 160 dF

This year’s turkey has to have been the most succulent, juicy turkey I’ve ever had. We didn’t even use the gravy that was on the table.